Since we began publicly sharing our journey towards fatherhood, we have had many people ask us if we have considered adoption. The short answer is, yes, we considered adoption and remain open to it as an option. However, we ultimately needed to make a personal decision for what felt like the best option for us to start our journey.
Thoughts on Marriage Equality
Baby Photos
Posted by Anthony
How much would you pay to have your baby photos? How much would you give to keep the photos that you already have of your children? Baby photos are something that most of us take for granted. Even if it’s just a few, most of us are able to look at baby photos of ourselves and glance back through time to when we had pudgy cheeks, no hair, and didn’t like pureed peas.
A Photo Gallery
An Arena Moment
Posted by Kirk.
We have received a lot of support about our process of becoming dads. We have also had some difficult conversations with folks who disagree with our approach. We've found ourselves defending and explaining our choice to pursue surrogacy and our decision to be so public about it.
We understand that not everyone is going to resonate with our story. We also recognize that people have strong opinions about family planning and parenting. But let me be clear: we value honesty. We believe in a community with diverse perspectives. We strive for authenticity and compassion. We practice altruism.
Pride
Posted by Anthony
I was 16 or 17 when I went to my first pride event. Part of Boston’s pride celebrations include a youth pride march. It was the late 1990s and I was still learning about the political and cultural side of my sexual identity. I didn’t know much except that pride was something that happened every June. I guess I assumed that it was much nicer to have a parade in June than in the middle of a New England winter.
Filming a Video
After our first consultation with a surrogacy agency we were super excited and pretty discouraged at the same time. We had some idea that surrogacy would be expensive but we didn't have a clue about the actual costs. We also didn't realize that we would essentially be required to have all of the money up front before moving forward with any part of the process.
The Cost
We have received a lot of questions about why gestational surrogacy costs so much. While it's difficult to put a price on starting a family, the reality is that there are a lot of people, organizations, and technology involved in creating an embryo through in-vitro fertilization from a donated egg and then transferring that egg to a gestational surrogate whose body has been prepared to become pregnant through medical technology. Add to that the necessary financial, social, and emotional support for our gestational surrogate as she carries our child, and the numbers start to make more sense.
Being Bi*
FAQ's
Since we've started to share our story more widely, we have been answering a lot of questions from people who are curious about our plans to grow our family and about our choice to pursue gestational surrogacy. Here are answers to some of the questions we've been asked. We will keep this post updated as we continue to have more conversations with people.
Reading with Shay
This is our friend, Shay. He's two-and-a-half. He and Anthony love to read together.
The Road to Fatherhood
Parenting When Sick
Posted by Kirk
Anthony has been sick in bed for the past two weeks. He's been coughing and feverish with lots of tossing and turning at night. It's times like this when I start to panic about the idea of having kids. It's a challenge sometimes- just trying to take care of each other and all the responsibilities of daily life. How in the world do people continue parenting when they get sick or when their co-parent is out of commission because they're sick?
Wedding Vows
Imperfect Decisions
Dinner Time
Posted by Anthony
My first solo foray into cooking wasn’t exactly a success. I was about 7 and I had spent the afternoon with my Nana, helping her to make homemade pasta and other things for dinner. For desert, we made pudding from a mix. It wasn’t an instant mix—it required a few additional items and then it had to be cooked—but it was pretty straightforward. At least, it seemed pretty straightforward with her by my side guiding me. I enjoyed making and eating it so much that she sent me home with another box of mix so that I could make it again.
All the Firsts
The Basics of Surrogacy
Building Our Team
The African proverb "it takes a village to raise a child" has never resonated as much as it does today. Only, in our case, the saying is more like "it takes a village to create a child" We need so much support in order to make this happen. I have daily doubts if it is even possible. Can we really do this? As we continue learning about the surrogacy process, we also keep discovering the multitude of people who need to be involved in order to make this a reality for us.
Somewhere Else
Posted by Anthony.
I grew up in what I always imagined was a pretty typical suburban town outside of Boston. We had a nice house, a backyard, and, later on, a swimming pool. I could walk to Wilmington Plaza, which was a strip-mall anchored by a grocery store and a TJ Maxx. There was also a video rental store, a Radio Shack, and a toy store. It was exciting to get to walk to “the Plaza” because it meant getting a chance to walk through the patch of woods that separated my neighborhood from the back of it. It was a short walk, maybe 10 or 15 minutes, but in my imagination those woods offered so much more than a shortcut to buy a carton of milk for my mom.