The Road to Fatherhood

Posted by Anthony

I came out when I was 12, so I didn’t spend a lot of time growing up thinking about what it would be like to fall in love with and marry a woman. I always knew that I would fall in love with and marry a man. Because I didn’t have much exposure to any kind of gay culture, I didn’t have anything to model my future life on. So, I assumed that it would be similar to how I’d grown up. I knew enough biology to know that two men couldn’t have a baby together, but I didn’t see why that had to stop my future husband and me. We would just need to find a nice lesbian couple, buy houses next to each other, and have babies together. It seemed perfectly reasonable. 

It’s funny to think back on that proposed arrangement now, but it makes it clear to me just how much I’ve always wanted to be a father. It was such a part of who I am that my teenage self found a way to plan to make it happen. Falling in love with a man wasn’t a dead end on my journey towards fatherhood, it just meant that I might have to find my own road.

As I stand at the beginning of that road now, it seems like I did get at least part of it right. Our future child will have two moms: a biological mom (egg donor) and a belly mom (surrogate). We almost certainly will not live next door to either of them, but it does seem like I got at least part of it right.

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