A good friend, Rachel Parker, wrote a letter of support for us and sent it to her family. She shared it with us and agreed to let us share it with our blog readers as well.
You may have noticed some Facebook posts about my friends' crowdfunding campaign to raise money to have a baby through surrogacy. Generally, anything involving fundraising and compelling people to part with their hard-earned money is way out of my comfort zone, even though, theoretically, it is a beautiful thing. It's pretty clear that their story must be shared and noticed by more than immediate friends and family in order to reach the amount required by the end of the month.
I also want to tell you about why this is important to me and to share things about Kirk and Anthony that I wish their video could have covered.
Kirk and I became instant best friends when we both lived in Arizona. He was writing letters to friends back east, and I leant him my fun, colorful pens. He was already done with college and working two jobs, in addition to having a full time Americorps position at a low-income school in town. He is one of the few people I know who has never relied heavily on financial help from family, yet he has always managed to take care of himself, and the people he loves in a way that feels abundant. He encouraged me to write by giving me a small journal that we've passed back and forth, sharing poems, quotes and ideas. He has made every birthday and holiday spent away from family special to me for over a decade. Kirk has helped me to find and move into every place I've ever lived outside of my parents home. He got me to try community theater and take Photo II even though I was supposed to be a philosophy major. It was a letter from Kirk about my not honoring or being able to show up in our friendship that lead me to quit drinking almost seven years ago. We both had our own plans to move to Portland, OR, before we had even met, which worked out great because this amazing man named Anthony was also destined to come here from Portland, ME.
Anthony is a person who, when picking up friends from the airport, parks and comes in with flowers and snacks, because travel can be exhausting (and he carries everything). In 2011 when I had to have surgery, Anthony was there when I woke up, reading an encyclopedia-sized book, getting instructions from doctors, and keeping my mom updated. He also set up a calendar with our friends so that, while I was recovering, I was never alone or without healing food, medications, and ginger ale. He reads and shares books with a joy that is captivating. He is always making recipes from his late grandma's favorite cookbook.
Kirk and Anthony have special talent for being constructively supportive. Their love is unconditional while always encouraging each other and their community to be the best versions of themselves. They truly do cherish every little bit of life and community. This is the kind of genetic material the world needs more of. It is particularly interesting and lovely for me to be part of their quest for fatherhood, as medical reasons have lead me to choose not to have kids of my own. I know how much thought goes into decisions and dreams about family, particularly when limitations are present. It is a personal choice with so many variables. I have complete respect and confidence in the choices they are making. Especially, since their goals give me the chance to be an "Aunt."
Both Kirk and Anthony are in as solid and responsible a financial situation as any educated, hardworking couple doing it on their own in their mid 30's can be. They have both worked very hard for many years in the non-profit field. They even worked at an adoption and foster care agency. They are thoroughly aware of all of the routes to fatherhood available to them. They would never ask for financial support if they could do this alone.
I'm messaging you because the whole point, is that family—in all of the crazy ways we are brought and linked together—is a most priceless and wonderful thing. I know there are a billion worthy causes out there. I understand not everyone is enthusiastic and comfortable with this particular kind of goal. But it really does take a village for some folks and every little bit will help my dear friends get closer to their dream of fatherhood. If you happen to have a few bucks to spare, know people who might be supportive, or have other suggestions for how to help make this happen it would be most appreciated.